This was supposed to be another festival-themed blog, sharing all my new cool experiences. But, not everything turns out the way we planned it, so instead I decided to have a reality check and once again (click) share the less pompous, spiralling side of the year abroad. I guess recently I’ve been flying too high…
I love being busy! I thrive when my schedule is overfilled and it is when I have too many things to do that I actually get stuff done. It’s great. However, it seems that my body just can’t keep up with my ideal pace of life. What a shame! After the festival-filled weekends, an overwhelming fatigue… umm, overwhelmed (??? Wow, what a writing style) me. That’s okay, that happens, you just rest for a day or two, and should be back in business. Or so I thought. Well, let’s look at the consequences.
1/ Homesickness/ loneliness
Being tired usually means that you can’t do all the things you wanted or planned. And I don’t know about you, but usually when I slow down after a very busy period, I get sad, bored and lonely, because all of sudden I’m not filling all of my time with activities, which is followed by a realisation that it’s just me… in my room… without a purpose. That can get quite lonely. And with loneliness comes feeling homesick. It’s usually the people who make you feel at home that also help against loneliness and exactly who you yearn for the most at such a time. And not always is it completely realistic either. In my case, I’ve been longing for all my friends who are scattered around the world, so it’s nearly impossible to get them all together (maybe on my wedding day? Or a Zoom call, the only two options).
2/ Illness
Have you thought that covid was over? Ha! I’m afraid it’s not. Yours truly got infected probably in one of those festivals and at the time of writing has been suffering from it in the last two weeks. Ayoo~ Okay, maybe, perhaps, possibly, I wouldn’t have been suffering as much if I’d listened and gone to a doctor’s earlier, but this is my diary and this is no place of admitting mistakes! You know, I would have done it if I realised that my thermometer had been broken and that I, in fact, did have fever instead of just random dizziness. And also, if I was aware of the fact that I’d lost my sense of smell. I can´t believe I actually hadn’t noticed until being asked about it. What a disappointment.
But either way, let’s be optimistic, that’s who I am anyway, right, an optimist to the bone, and as such, I am happy to have experienced Japanese “hospital”. I don’t know why they call it a hospital if it’s just a doctor’s office, or, in this case, a garage. Yes, a garage. I was also surprised, but fighting my 39°C fever, I couldn’t care less. I was happy to get a test done, and even though it had to be pointed out to the doctor that there was an extra line on my covid test, I was happy to get some medicine and go back to bed. So that I could complain about being bored the following days. But no, actually, I do appreciate the medicine and everyone’s help. ♥
3/ Realisation of the time passing by
When you’re ill and you just waste your days watching anime and Disney films, you don’t even know what day it is. To battle your loneliness, you start calling with your friends and then reality strikes you, you look at the calendar and realise that you have only about a month of your year abroad left! A month! How are you supposed to fit all your dreams into a month?? You start panicking, reflecting and spiralling (which will hopefully lead to some more fun experiences that I can write about). Will you ever come back to the dream-like life? What’s waiting for you out there? Can it get any better or is it gonna go downhill from here? Can you have it all (also outside of your wedding day)?
In the previous post about homesickness and loneliness, I was trying to have a point. I guess this time is a bit different and I hope you enjoyed this insight into my brain. Peace out~
