If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you might know that I’ve lived in various countries – I grew up in Slovakia up until the age of 20 when I packed my things and went to study to Newcastle, UK, did a year abroad in Hiroshima, Japan, and after graduating started a Master’s degree in Barcelona, Spain. Last year, I spent at least 2 months in each of these countries. So my life is “all over the place”, literally. “That’s incredible!”, you might think. And while I agree that it’s insane, there’s more to it than just some cool experience.
Minimalism at its finest
Naturally, I couldn’t be further from a minimalist. However, if you move around all the time, you learn to live out of a suitcase. You need to have a capsule wardrobe, at least if you’re as unwilling to pay for luggage as Yours Truly. 0:) You learn to be creative with your questionable decorating. You learn to say goodbye to things you don’t really need all that much (that’s a lie actually, my pyjamas still live in four different countries, lol). You’re forced into practicality if you want to survive. You learn about your personal style, but also accept that there’s more to you than materialistic things.
Am I still trying to figure out how pack and take all my books with me? Maybe…
Speaking *any* language
There may be some phrases that you learn in a specific context, in a specific language and it will just stick. As a lover of languages, I can’t recommend language learning enough, but with the number of languages and experiences in these languages, I just get confused. Sometimes, it feels like all of the languages are leaving my brain, word by word. And then, you’re asked a question that reminds you of the question that you used to be asked all the time in a different country and neurons cross-connect and you’re telling the Spanish shop assistant that it’s “daijobu”, you don’t need a bag. And you realise what you’d done and you want to correct yourself but still, it’s the wrong language coming out of your mouth.
App hoarding
You hoard apps like no other. The supermarket-specific digital point cards? Yeah, you obviously need them, especially in case you come back for a visit. How else can you save 23p in your next Tesco visit? And then, you obviously need a version for back home, because even though it’s the same chain and same currency, Spain Lidl card is not the same as Slovak one! You also might forget your karaoke login details, so you need to keep that app. And let’s not even forget about the 3 different apps you need for your Barcelona public transport card to be working. So yeah, all of them entirely necessary!
But on a more serious note
You don’t have a home
Or rather, you have multiple places you can call home and therefore, you feel like there’s no real place you do call home. You come to a new city, it takes you a while to settle in, to find your favourite supermarket, your preferred route to school, you make yourself feel at home and it’s time to leave. All the familiar places and the everyday memories you’d made stay while you move on.
One could also argue that it’s not about the place but the people, right? But even then, you make friends, which always requires time and effort, at least to me. And then? If you’re lucky enough, you get to see them once a year and have a Zoom call every few months. And the friend-hunt begins again.
Honestly, it’s super tiring. But we’re social creatures and even if I tell myself that I don’t need friends, I know I do. At least one or two people you can confide in. Especially if you’re in a foreign country! You need somewhere to escape in case your flatmates turn out to be bullies *cough cough*. And it’s beautiful that there are people all over the world that you can meet and share your experiences and thoughts and learn from each other, but man, is it painful when it’s time to go and you just end up wishing there had been more time…
Everything changes
First of all, you change. Or at least, I did. My routines were slightly different in different countries. I wouldn’t have the same things for breakfast everywhere, I’d cook with different ingredients. My hobbies differed depending on the country. I absorbed different habits and ways of doing things specific to the country where I was. I don’t know, maybe all this is because it’s happening in my 20s, you know, the age of change. But it can’t be the only reason. The environment brings out a different part of you, too.
And then you return back “home” and everything is the same, except for a few new buildings. But somehow, nothing feels the same, because you’ve grown, you’ve changed so much and you just don’t fit in the way you used to. And maybe it’s not a big deal, if it’s with the right people, the new you is accepted without a second thought. Who cares that now you drink tea with milk and think about your rice more than necessary. But you can feel it because you don’t feel the same and it’s very perplexing.
It’s a bittersweet feeling knowing that there are parts of you in so many places in the world, yet you can never reach them again. They’re separate, yet connected. You move on, but they stay in you.
Stratovarius: forever
